::sigh:: having an off night i suppose...idk...i keep getting in these depressed moods out of no where lately...its so weird i dont like it...its like ill be all smiley and perfectly happy and then the next min im bawling...its sooo annoying...::sigh:: idk...i talked to james again today...not really sure how far that got me but oh well...we only talked for like 2 min and then he told me that he would call me back, of corse never calling. other then that my love life is kinda getting together and falling apart...idk why it just is. its just annoying...im soooooo lonely...why do i have to fall in love with someone so perfect but so far away...its like idk i really wanna wait for him...like i would do anything to make him happy...but its so hard turning down oppertunites with ppl here when im so alone. like i feel lonely EVERY day...the only time im happy during the day is when im with my friends or talking to Gary...and then as soon as i stop talking to him im more depressed cause i know its gonna be forever til i see him...it makes me wanna cry. i didnt ask to fall in love i really didnt...::sigh:: so yea...idk what im gonna do. its all just very agravating...but at least i have guitar and my last day before spring break tomorrow to look forward to. god im so pathetic, i really am. every ten seconds im pulling up my away message box to see if he left me a message or somthing. ::sigh:: i cant help it tho hes all i think about. i forget about everyone and everything when im talking to him. there i go checking the box again. ::sigh:: this is all just so hard..oh well...no one said love would be easy...i guess the thing that im most afraid of right now is getting hurt. i have a feeling that i am gonna get hurt...and youd think that by now id be used to it...but im not...::sigh:: maybe by next time...lol...there i got checking the box again...well i think im gonna go enter a poerty contest or somthing to pass the time and then i think i might go to bed early tonight if he never comes back. okay bye bye everyone. xoxo MeG

"200 miles away from home. 200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs. but you dont care at all. you wouldnt even smile if i were screaming as the water filled my lungs. oh my lungs. you didnt have to be chased for you love. my despret heart is far to weak to run for you this long. but you dont care at all. theres nothing that i can do to draw you close to me. can you take this silence like a pill so i can breathe again. iv been trying to ignore the best part of you, im still hoping that ill be with you somehow. plz be home tonight. ill die if i dont get a chance to make this just right. im sorry but i can forget about the way i feel everytime your here. what would it take for me to be with you? i swear id rip my heart out if you said youd be impressed. plz be impressed. id go so far to plz you but i bet you wouldnt care at all. at all. hopeless love plz leave me. this broken heart is far to weak to run for you this long...why dont you care at all? im dieing for a place in your heart"

EEEK why do i wait so long between entries lol...hmm..what is there to update on....lol lets see. the past 2 weekends have SUCKED!!! lol last weekend we went to the movies on friday...that was a major flop and then the next day we hung out with Nick from close up and he was soooo boring lol plus the fact that all i could think about the whole time was how horny i was and how pissed off i wast that James never showed up. lol i think James and i are done...haha i think he hates me...he avoids the hell out of me...but thats okay cause i am in love ...with someone else..te he...his name is Gary and BOY is he amazing...lol i can never get him off my mind...he is just so perfect for me...::sigh:: i love him...lol so back to my schedule..lol...this weekend wasnt so so bad i guess. i went to the mall on friday with lauren and sarah cause kim went to greese the musical and i guess that was fun in its own lil way...lol...saturday we went BACK to the mall and ended up not meeting jon anywhere which was kinda upsetting up oh well...hmm lets see what else...oh i flirted with this AMAZINGLY hot waiter at ruby tuesdays lol he told me his whole life story it was so great hahaha...his name was gerald...lol and he moved around a lot cause he used to be in the navy until he got dishonerable discharge for selling drugs...haha and all i asked was why he wasnt a wearing a name tag...hahahah "how are you?" "im good how are you" "HOT!!! very HOT!!!" hahahah lauren..that was so great. but yea..i still love Gary soooooooo much more...haha in fact i thought about him all weekend...haha im thinking about him now lol im waiting for him to finish his hw so we can talk again...::sigh:: hearing him makes me melt...te he...so yea...idk what else to fill you in on...one more week of school and then we have spring break wooo hoooo...i think im finally gonna make honor roll lol and finally make my parents proud of me lol...its gonna be good. so yea...thats about it...ill try to update again soon lol..bye bye everyone ....xoxo MeG

p.s...Love isnt as bad as i made it out to be

wow, i havent been on this thing in ages....i didnt think anyone used them anymore...lol...so yea...a lot has happened since the last time i wrote...i went to the starting line concert, it was amazing. we ended up at matts house for new years which, to say the least, was an interesting night. i went to close up...best time of me LIFE!!! i met so many cool ppl and i made so many new friends...i have been in and out of 2 different realtionships and i think i am about to jump back into another but idk yet. I went out with Greg...big mistake, i dont even think he liked me...and i went out with a 20 year old named will. lol that was an experience and a half. lol. so now i am single again but i am dating this boy named Jamie...i really really like him but he is leaving for the marines this june...i think im gonna cry lol. its gonna suck. he wont be back til my sophomore year of college and he is gonna forget all about me. and then there is andrew. him and i hung out for the first time yesterday...hes pretty cool, but i think him and i will just remain friends. this coming saturday is soph hop, i asked jamie to go with me, but i have a feeling he forgot about it lol plus im not sure i wanna go anymore. idk i just hope i see him this weekend. i kinda miss him...even tho he kinda made me angry last night. i guess it was just cause i was in a bad mood, he was drunk, and he asked if he could call me back in 10 min every 15 seconds and he would wait like an hour if he even called back at all...and yea. i was tired. lol. so yea...tomorrow we have to go back to school which i realllllly dont wanna do. im really done with school, like i sincerly hate it. and i hate the snow. lol i wish it would stop. it makes me angry. so yea...idk what is gonna happen this week but i guess ill try to come back and repost...even tho i doubt that anyone reads this thing anymore lol...so yea...ttyl lovies...xoxo MeG

heyy,

what up everyone? nmh...i am at school we should have had off today. school sucks ass. so right now im sitting in business adm. and whatching the goones...terrible movie btw. i hate it. so yea, tonight we are all getting together over sarahs house around 730 and exchanging figts with everyone. it should be fun. its gonna be me, sarah, lauren, laura, matt, and joe. im excited to chill with joe again, we never see him. so yea, then saturday is christmas, so that should be a family filled blast. lol. then on the 28th we are goin to the starting line concert. im soooo excited. then idk what we are doing for new years yet but i know that i am finally gonna have a really good new years chilling with my friends. i have always spent new years at home so im pretty excited about goin out this year. and if we dont go out then everyone will end up coming over my house which will still be cool cuase i will be able to chill with my friends on new years. yea...then my sisters boo from gorgia is coming up somewhere in there and we are gonna have to entertain him. lol. so we are gonna go to philly for the day, to lancaster, and then to hershy. it should be a good time. so yea. then when we get back its KIM AND LAURENS 16TH BIRTHDAYS!!!!!! so much fun. from now until then middle of january is gonna be a blast lol im excited. wow i dont think i could hat ethis movie any more then i already do. so yea...as of now i am just sitting here waiting for it to be 1 10 so that i can go to band and get out of here. i dont feel like playing in this damn assembly today but its better then sitting with all the other guys in in my class and whatcing the band play. there is like no on here today. everyone skipped i should have to. i would have if i didnt want to go to sarahs so much tonight. so yea...i think im gonna go now i have nothing left to say. i have to get motivated to update this thing more often. so yea...ill update in a few days or maybe tomorrow if im not busy later lovies....

                                         ~*Meghan*~

AHHHHHH OMFG IM SO EXCITED!!!!!! 5 DAYS TIL TAKING BACK SUNDAY!!!!!! I THINK IM GONNA CRY!!!!!! omg im so siked...right now im workin on this damn project for business adm. a class i shouldnt even have...::sigh:: oh well...i have to dress up tomorrow and im def not looking forward to it...so yea...i missed having to run the mile today, even tho i think i have to run it wensday durning enhancment its all cool, i dont even think we have enhancment on wensday!! woo hoo, that would be hot shit...i wouldnt have to run it til i got back, maybe she will forget!!!!! lol i hate gym, im upset that i didnt get my report card yet...i think you should be able to get on honor roll as long as you have A's and B's in all of your accedmics...that would be niffty...i would be on it lol. i just am like failing gym and business adm. ::sigh:: i cant wait til the spring, even tho i hate english and history its all good. i think that if i try hard it will be okay. plus i have the same teacher as last year for history so i know i can get away with anything. te he. so yea, taht and i have guitar and im realllly excited lol. i have it with lauren and matt, good stuff. plus i have all my friends in my lunch, its gonna be a blast...well i better get back to working, or else im gonna fail some more...god i hate that class, ttyl all....wahhhh i dont wanna dress up tomorrow. later lovies

                     xo Meghan xo...PS. I CANT WAIT TIL SATURDAY!!!!!